


Little Oops

by JenCollins



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Baby, But also lots of love, Cas feel useless, Dean is an Idiot, Fools in Love, Heartbreak, I really have no idea what to tag, Idiots in Love, M/M, Mpreg, Support, Uncle Sam, learning from past mistakes, lot of sadness, love is important here, new soul, not too happy story, sorry - Freeform, tbh i don't remember what i should tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:13:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22627660
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JenCollins/pseuds/JenCollins
Summary: Sex. Heartbreak. Love. Mpreg Castiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this years ago but always forgot to post it here, enjoy.

Castiel felt sleepy. It was weird because Angels don't sleep.

He shrugged it off and keep making dinner for Dean and Sam.

"Do you need any help?" Sam asked, coming into kitchen.

"Can you please put the plates on the table? I'm almost done." I said.

"Did you just yawn?" Dean asked, smiling as he walked into the kitchen.

"Yes. Dean. Sit down. Dinner is ready." I put everything on plates.

I sat down and started to eat.

Mmm. Delicious.

I opened my eyes to see Sam and Dean looking at me weirdly.

"..What?" I asked, taking a sip of my juice.

"It just..It looks weird to see you actually eating and enjoying food.." Dean said in a low and confused voice.

"Well, this is tasty. So eat up." I finshed eating and started washing up.

Sam and Dean finished eating, thanked me, and gave me their plates to wash.

"Good night guys." Sam said and went to bed.

As soon as Sam was out of kitchen Deans arms went around my waist.

I felt Dean's soft lips on my neck.

He pushed his hips against my ass.

I wiped my hands and turned around.

Deans lips were on mine in a deep kiss.

"Let's go to our room." Dean smiled, pecking my lips again.

"Okay." I smiled.

Dean held my hand, going to our bedroom. When we were inside he locked the door and kissed me again well starting to undress me.

It only took Dean some seconds to get me naked and lying on the bed.

I looked into Dean's beautiful green eyes.

Dean smiled and started undressing himself.

I watched his little show and smiled, feeling myself get hard.

Dean came and laid on top of me.

"You are so beautiful, my Angel." Dean murmured against my lips.

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

Dean laid beside me, breathing hard.

I yawned again and cuddled against him.

Dean put his arm around me and kissed me.

I kissed him back sleepy.

"Cas, are you okay?" Dean sounded worried.

"'m just tired.." I yawn again and started dozing off.

"After just one round? You are always wanting more and more." Dean laughed.

"Mmm." I started slipping into a deep sleep.

I woke up from a pain in my stomach.

I groaned, sitting up.

"Ouch!" Dean rubbed his side.

"What?" I snapped out, glaring.

"Woah there. Why so grumpy?" He hugged me.

"My stomach hurts." I leaned against Dean and breathed in his scent.

"Stomach? Did I..Was I to rough?" Dean started rubbing my tummy and I was already feeling better, the pain slipping away.

"Keep doing that...Feels so good." I closed my eyes.

"Cas. Castiel!" Dean's yell woke me up with a jolt.

"Hm?" I opened my eyes slightly.

"You fell asleep. Again. It's 2 pm. Are you okay?" Dean asked, worried.

"Yes. I'm hungry." I sat up and tried to rush to the kitchen.

"Cas!" Dean gripped my hand before I could.

"Yes?" I asked him, looking into his eyes.

"Please put some clothes on at least. I don't want Sam seeing you naked." Dean looked serious, clenching his jaw.

"Oh, jealous babe?" I kissed him slowly and smiled.

"Yeah, I am jealous. 'Cause you are only Mine." Dean wrapped a possessive arm around me and smirked. Kissing my neck.

My weird hunger and sleeping habits continued for five months further.

I was more and more sassy and grumpy. And horny.

I think Dean liked the horny part. A lot.

He enjoy it little too much.

I was lying in Dean's bed and watching TV. Angel radio turned on.

"C...ast...iel..." some unfamiliar voice whispered. I figured it was an angel reaching out to me.

"Yes?" I asked, listening closely for the faint voice.

"Danger...you..."

"What? Danger? What danger?" I asked in confused.

"Your stomach...it's wrong...danger..." My angel radio turned off when Dean came inside room.

"Hey! You alright?" Dean crawled inside our bed, kissing me before I even got the chance to answer.

I wrapped my arms around him.

"Now it is." I kissed him, hard. And started undressing him. Pulling of his t-shirt.

"Mmm, someone is horny again." Dean smiled started to undress me.

I cuddled against Dean.

"Will there be a part 5?" Dean smiled and hugged me.

"Don't know." I smiled. Kissing him. "I don't wanna wear you out."

He laughed. Smiling brightly and looking at me with such love.

I felt a soft kick against my stomach. From Dean's face I knew he felt it too.

Kicks kept coming against my stomach.

"What is that Cas?" Dean sat up, alarmed. Staring at me for answers that I couldn't give him.

Little kicks could be seen on my stomach.

Dean put his hand on my stomach carefully.

A strong kick went agiainst his hand. He pulled back as if he had been burned.

"Cas.." Dean looked into my eyes.

He saw my shock and questioning look.

"It feels like a baby is kicking. Only you aren't pragnant." He let out a nervous chuckle.

My eyes went wide.

Sleep, food and all the feels. Angel radio earlier that day...

Fuck!

"Fuck!" I cursed and rushed out of Dean's grip to the mirror.

I looked and I saw the visible changed in my body.

A clear bump was on my stomach.

Oh fuck.

I started to understand what it all meant from what angel radio was saying.

I put my hand on it and felt it.

"I feel it.." I murmured, looking at my baby bump.

Lights flickered and high pitched sound started ringing.

I smiled and let out a soft laugh.

"Of course. Dean's sandwiches are the best." I kept hugging my bum.

Sound continued.

I laughed one more time.

And it continue.

Dean screamed. I looked at him, putting hands against his ears.

"Oh!" I kneeled beside him. My eyes wide.

"What the hell was that?" He was angry, glaring up at me. His hands over mine.

"The baby was talking with me..It doesn't know how to be quite..yet." I whispered.

"Baby?" Dean spat out, confused. "Want to explain what the hell is going on Cas?"

"Oh...well when you said the thing about the baby all the pieces fell in their places and now I feel it. I am pregnant... I didn't know that it could happen with my male vessel. But well, you will be father. And our baby was telling me that it loves your hand and is hungry." I said calmly and put on some clothes.

'W-what?" Dean looked at me like I had three heads, shaking with confusion and shock.

"..I just told you what." I said slowly. "Are you okay Dean?"

Dean stood up and put on his clothes in a hurry,.

"Dean, you look so pale." I tried to grip Dean's arm but he shook my hand off coldly. Not looking at me.

"I need some air." He rushed out of the room, not even glancing at me before leaving.

I was left standing alone in the dark.

Everything felt so cold.

I felt a hot sting start to burn my eyes. And then it started. Hot tears started streaming down my cold cheeks.

The baby was silent.

Angel radio was silent.

The bunker was silent.

I sat alone, looking at the doors.

Waiting.

I was tring not to cry again.

Dean left me...

Why did he leave me?

Wasn't he suppost to be happy? Happy to be the father of our child?

He loved Ben.

It lookked like he wanted a baby.

And I gave him one to share with me and he just..left. Left me alone.

"I don't understand!" I yelled out, the remaining lights exploding in a loud shock.

I felt a soft kick against my stomach.

"Shh...it will be okay..." I whispered, hugging my baby bump.

I felt so broken...

I didn't know how long I stood there, frozen.

When Dean left It felt like my heart was being cut apart with glass.

Being beaten up and left to die was less painful then when Dean left.

I started crying again.

"Please...D-don't c-c..ry...I don't like when you feel like th-this..." A soft voice was speaking in my head.

"Oh baby.. I am so sorry...Let's drink some tea." I stood up and made some tea.

I sat down and drank it.

The clock said it was already eight in the morning.

Dean wasn't back yet.

Sam came into my blurry sight.

"Cas! What's wrong?" He rushed forward and kneeled beside me, scanning me for injury.

I started crying again.

I let Sam hug me tightly and let all my tears out.

Sam hugged me closer to him.

I sat up straight and wiped the tears off my cheeks.

"Now tell me what's wrong." Sam looked so worried. "Where's Dean?"

I resisted the urge to cry all over again.

"I don't know if I can tell you..." My look traveled back to bunker doors.

"Did you and Dean get into fight?" Sam asked in a softer voice

"W-what?" I looked up at Sam.

Has Dean told him about us...? He told me he wanted to wait.

"It's clear that you guys are together. So tell me what's wrong." Sam commanded. Looking into my broken tear filled eyes.

"I... Uh...I am pregnant... I told Dean...I thought he would be happy.. Shocked but happy..He did love Ben and it looked like he wanted a baby...But he just...he stood up and rushed out, saying he needed fresh air... He just left me standing in the dark..." A hot tear ran down my left cheek.

Flashes of Dean leaving me, not even looking at me went through my mind. I closed my eyes tightly.

"But..How can you be pregnant?" Sam asked.

"Sam, Angels don't care about sex. We are just angels. And we can have children. I just didn't think that it could happen in male vessel." I told him truthfully.

"Oh...I understand. How long Dean have been out?-Sam asked.

"Sense 8:13 pm...Sam, it is 8:20 now. He have been gone 12 hours. And his phone is shut off. I don't know what to do.." I was so close to tears once again.

"Oh Cas...This must be big step for him...Dean... You know how he can be...And I think he still think's..Think's he's a bad guy..." Sam carefully choose every word.

"Will he come back...?" I asked with tears in my eyes.

I felt how my baby in my stomach freesed, waiting for an answer.

"I- I don't know...But If I know anything about my big brother he will. He loves you. And you know it." Sam let out a small smile.

"Okay...Yeah...I will go take a little nap... Baby needs rest..." I stood and went to Dean's room.

I curled up in the bed, hugging Dean's pillow.

I cried until sleep took over me.

It has been 36 hours from when Dean left.

He wont answer his phone.

I don't know where he is or if he is alright.

I have cried so much in these hours that my eyes are red and flushed.

I felt so alone.

So broken...

And I start thinking about all the possibilities.

Dean have always loved being with women.

He felt comfortable and confident with them.

I think and think.

And with every hour I started to feel more and more numb.

No more tears.

Dean doesn't love me the same way I love him.

Humans never have known what real love was.

I understand that Dean didn't want to come back because I am here.

That's why I got all my stuff and left. Leaving a short and simple not for Sam.

I texted Dean one last time.

-I am sorry. You can come back home. It will be like you have never met me. I apologize about all the pain I have caused you.. I am sorry Dean." I left my phone at the bunker.

I don't need it anymore.

I just vanished.

I wished I could restore my brain to not feel a damn thing.

This will all be for the better.

I want Dean to be happy.

Even if that means that I need to let Dean walk over my broken soul.

I don't matter.


	2. Chapter 2

It's been three months.

Three. Painful. Months.

I went from the bunker to heaven. I stayed at Lucifer's old place. No one has ever came here so I was left alone. Just me and my baby.

I felt so broken. With every day I felt more and more numb.

Today marks the third month sense I left. Breaking any and all contact with Sam and Dean Winchester.

I don't feel that bad anymore.

Since the numb ache came I haven't felt much of anything.

Being in heaven and with the angels started making me feel like an angel again.

A cold, broken Angel.

My baby was growing very healthy.

We spent hours talking with each other.

It was easier for her to talk in my mind when we were in heaven.

Oh yeah, and it's a her.

I spent eight to ten hours sleeping every day and one to two hours eating.

I understand why Lucifer loved this place. Here I am isolated from all humans.

No humanity in this room.

I started to love it with every day I spent in it.

Baby was kicking and it woke me up.

Someone was knocking on the doors.

I groaned and stood up, going to open the doors.

"What?" I groaned and leaned against the door frame.

"I'm sorry but we have a message for you. Please come to the master room." An angel said formally.

"Okay, alright. Give me five minuets to dress." I said with a loud yawn.

Baby kicked again.

"Good morning sweetcheek." I petted my stomach where the babies leg was showing.

I put on some comfortable clothes and headed to meet with the angels.

When I stepped into the room all the chatting angels froze, all eyes meeting mine.

Every angel was in a suit. And than there is me. Wearing sweat pants and big sweeter.

"So, what message are you talking about?" I said grumpily and leaned against the desk.

Baby kicked me with big force.

"Ouch." I put my hand against the hurting spot. "Please don't do that. It hurts baby." I put my hand against my stomach, rubbing the aching spot.

"You should sit down Castiel." An angel in a female vessel told me and shoved me to a seat.

"Thank you." I sat down and kept rubbing my bump.

"Castiel. You have been here three months. You have isolate yourself from humanity." The same angel said to him.

"I know." I snapped.

"We have a message for you. Ersam has met by your human friends. They gave him a message for you because you don't answer to their prayers." Another male angel said and handed me 2 pieces of paper.

"I haven't answered their prayers because I haven't heard any." I practically growled out. Glaring at everyone.

My sassy self was still going at full force most days.

"Take them and choose what you will do. But please don't risk the others. Because these Winchester's were not soft toward Ersam." The angels stood up.

I stood up and went back to my room.

I sat on the bed and ate my breakfast to please my baby.

Then I started reading.

-Castiel. I understand that Dean was acting like a total dick, but after you sent that text message he came home all worried and in search for you. He prayed for you every day. He is a mess. He berly eats. He drinks almost all the time. He goes hunting but does not think about the consequences. He doesn't care if he will get killed. But I care and I hope you do too.

Castiel, please listen to him.

He is just so broken.

And I am so sorry for all the pain he put you through.

I really am.

He is too.

I would be happy to meet you again some day soon.-

~ Sam Winchester

Sam's message made anger glare up in my chest.

Oh he is broken and hurt.

But what about me?

What about the baby?

Stupid humans!

They are selfish shits!

Always caring only about them self.

Why did I need to fall for him. In all ways!

Stupid human.

Baby kicked, and I stopped my inner torment.

"Yes, sweetum?" I asked, softly.

"I don't like when you are mad...It don't feel good..." A soft voice rang in my head.

"I am sorry baby girl." I petted the bum. Smiling brokenly.

I breathed deep and started to read Dean's message.

Cas.

You don't answer to my or Sams prayers.

You left your phone.

Where are you?

Are you even alive?

~You shouldn't leave.~

~It was stupid. Idiotic.~

~come back you idiot~

I know I shouldn't left you alone ~for so long~.

I am sorry.

~I miss you.~

Did you keep the baby?

I want to explain why I left.

I was scared. Scared about everything.

I didn't think that I will ever be dad.

~shit. I sound so pathetic.~

This message is stupid.

I don't know why I even tried to write it.

~will you ever read it?~

~I am drowing myself in Alchole to forget.

I go hunting with one thing on my mind. To forget. I don't even care if I will get killed.

Because my life is hell without you.

~I can say that because I spent fucking more than 40 years in hell.~

I am not the one who would beg forgivness or mercy.

But I am begging you.

Please...

Cas please...

Come back to me...

I need you...

~shit. I hate crying.~

I have done enough stupid things.

I just can't anymore.

I can't.

Sorry,

Your Dean.

On the bottom of page was stains of tears.

It told me that Dean was crying while writing this.

Flashes of Dean being with someone else came into my mind.

And all the pain started coming back. The numb feeling fading away.

But I blocked it all out.

I went to the control room.

"Show me all about Dean Winchester in these three months." I didn't leave any room for hesitation.

The angel nodded and gave me access.

I slid down and looked through the files.

Drinking.

Hunting.

Fighting.

More and more drinking.

Arguments with Sam.

More fighting.

Destroying things.

Typical Dean.

I watched throught it all when something caught my attention.

Dean went to a bar and drank again. But then he sat down next to a blonde girl, flirting with her.

They were flirting and flirting.

Dean was laughing and puting his hand on her thigh, sliding it up.

And then they left to the motel room.

The girl kissed him.

I stop breathing.

Dean kissed her back and put his hand in her hair.

My chest was getting tighter with every kissing second.

I wanted to run away but I needed to see if he went all the way.

With every clothing pulled down I started to feel more and more sick.

And then Dean was on top of the naked girl.

He was naked.

More kissing.

And than he slid inside her.

I let out broken sound and fall to the ground.

Everything hurt.

I couldn't breath.

He really cheated on me...

He choose a girl over me...

Tears were running down my cheeks.

Angels run to me and tried to help me.

I only felt pain. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Somehow they got me to my room.

I was alone sobbing.

I watched the stars, letting the wind kiss my wet cheeks.

I wish I could get rid of all the feelings.

He broke me again.

And he wanted me to come back after what he did?

Stupid human. Didn't think I would know what he did.

Anger was boiling in me.

I stood up.

I choose my next step.

I went back to earth.

I went back to the bunker.

I went inside it.

Dean was siting at his desk with a wiskey glass and some papers infront him.

Sam was sitting infront of him, reading as well.

He was the first one who saw me coming.

"Cas!" Sam yelled, shocked, standing.

Dean's head snapped up.

His eyes were red.

I went straight to him.

"Cas.." Dean's eyes were wide as they travled around me.

I gripped his hair and slammed his head against the desk.

Once.

Twice.

"Cas. Stop!" Sam yelled.

"Stay out of this Sam!" I snapped, glaring at him. "I don't want to have to hurt you too."

I forced Dean on his feet just to hit him with big force.

He fell to the ground, gasping.

I was right next to him and kicking his chest and than stomach until he was a bloody mess.

"Castiel! Please! Stop! You will kill him!" Sam pleaded but didn't dare move towards me.

"I? Killing him?" I stopped and let out hysterical laugh."He killed me! Over and over again! He left me when I needed him! He fucking cheated on me!

One more kick.

Tears were running down my flushed cheeks.

"He..He what?" Sam asked in shock.

From what I could see Sam had no idea.

"He cheated on me. With a girl from a bar! And after that he says that *i* need to come back! What is wrong with you people!" I punched Dean once more in his bleeding face.

"Cas.." Dean spit out some blood. Begging me with his hurt eyes.

"Shut the fuck up Winchester! I rebelled! I killed my own kind! My sisters! My brothers! I stoof up to them, to Lucifer and Michael! I went through hell and purgatory! I killed! I fell! I broke! I did it, all of it, for you! But all you can do for me is to leave me and cheat on me! Lie to me?! Break me! Is that all you can do!?" I kicked him one more time.

"You fucking left! And the first memories you gave to our child was her father leaving! You left our child! For some slut!" I screamed at Dean. Crying.

I stopped for a second, taking in a shaken break and looked into Dean's broken green eyes. "I loved you and you've broken me."

I felt a sharp pain in my baby bump after croaking out those broken truths of words.

I put my hands against it.

The pain was get stronger and I fell to my knees.

I screamed out in pain and fear.

Sam was by my side lying me down.

Dean forced himself up to grip my hand.

The baby was slamming kicks into me at full force.

"Something is off!" I said loudly between pained breaths.

"Dean! He is bleeding." Sam said with frantic eyes.

"Sammy get everything that we need to help him. GO!" Dean pushed Sam away when Sam just stared at me, frozen, scared for my life.

He cupped my cheeks in his hands.

"Cas...baby... Please try to calm down...Anger will only hurt you.." Dean gasped out, close to tears.

"You look awfull." I murmured through pain. I put my fingers to Dean's forhead and he was perfectly fine again.

I felt more sharp pains in my back now.

"It hurts...I think the baby can't breath...That's why it is kicking so histericall.." I painfully gasped out. "Get it out Dean...Help our baby... Please... Cut her out.." I screamed in pain.

The babies voice came inside my mind. Pleading and begging me to help it.

"Dean! Now! It is dying! Now!" I gripped his knife and put it against my baby bump.

"Cas, you can't! It can kill you! Dean yelled, shaking his head. Sounding so worred.

"Do it right now Dean! Save our child! I dont care!" I yelled, staring into his eyes.

"But-"

I grabbed Dean's hand and stabbed the knife into my stomach, urging him to cut forward.

Dean helped me.

The pain was so bad.

Pain was all I felt.

I needed to stay strong for my baby. For my Dean.

Dean's hands went inside the cut on my bump.

I let the tears and screams come out.

"I'm almost there baby." I didn't know if he was talking to me or our child.

I started to fight against the darkness that wanted to over come me. I needed to make sure she was okay.

And than I saw it.

The most beautiful creature ever seen.

Loud baby screams rang throught the bunker.

"We..We have a daughter Cas...A little baby girl.." Dean put her to my chest.

Beautiful eyes met mine.

This was all I needed.

I held her with my last strength.

Sam started working to put together my wrecked body.

Dean helped him with all he could do.

"Cas, can you try to heal yourself? It would help to stop the bleeding." Dean pleaded at me.

I nodded without removing my eyes from my baby girl.

"Nothing is happening. He is too weak Dean..." Sam sounded so worried.

But all the pain started to go away.

My baby was looking into my eyes. She didn't cry. She was calm and just looking into my blue eyes.

"I love you.." I whispered, looking at her. A broken smile coming to my bloody lips.

Dean's head snapped to look at me.

"Cas- Castiel! Loo at me!" Dean guided my eyes to him.

I stared into his broken and hurt eyes. Trying to keep the smile on my face for him.

"I forgive you.." I whispered with my last breaths. "I love you D-Dean Winchester."

Deans eyes were full with sadness.

"I love you too. That's why you need to stay with me..." His voice sounded so far away.

I look edback at my baby girl one last time.

"I love you daddy." Her voice said in my head.

I let my eyes flutter closed. The small smile still on my lips.

Darkness over took me.

The light in Castiel's eyes faded as his eyes drifted shut.

"No! No! No! Open your damn eyes!" I screamed at him.

Sam took the baby off of Cas chest.

"Castiel! Open your eyes! Look at me! Look at me!" I begged through broken sobs.

I tried to give him CPR. Begging silently.

"Come back! Come back! Come back!-i murmured.

-Castiel! Come back... Baby..Angel... I need you... Our daughter need you..." Sobs wrecked through my body. "P-please d-d-don't leave m-me."

"Dean... he is gone..." Sam whispered, sounding pained.

"No..He can't be gone. He will open his beautiful eyes. He will come back...He is just sleeping.." I cried out.

"Dean...Please...He's..." I glared at Sam, he was crying and holding the baby in his arms, wrapped in big fluffy towel.

"No...No!" I yelled out, angry tears running down my face.

I gripped Castiel's now cold body against mine.

I cried and keep him close to my chest.

I was rocking from front and back.

I screamed until my lungs started to hurt.

I heard the baby crying out and Sam silently taking her to another room.

I let out all my tears and screams.

Castiel's cold body was lying in my bloody arms.

I put my cheek against his forehead.

I cried and screamed until I had no more breath.

I just keep holding him in my arms.

I was broken.

My love, my angel, was gone...

I was lost...


	3. Chapter 3

Eventually, Sam was forced to tear Dean away from Cas' cold, dead, body. Gripping his brother's shoulders and pulling him into a deep hug even as Dean tried to push him away frantically.

"Sam! No! NO!" Dean broke into a fit of sobs, Sam kept Dean pressed tight to his body, hugging his big brother like his life depended on it.

"We need to burn his body...It's been two days, Dean." Sam said in a soft voice, prepared for Dean's exsplosion of hurt and anger.

"I won't burn him Sam! I won't do it! He is alive! He will come back! He will need his body! Cas is just sleeping...He is asleep...He will wake up..." Dean swiftly moved from anger to sadness.

He tried to get back to Cas' body but Sam didn't let him.

"Please.." Dean croaked out brokenly.

"Dean..you need to be strong. You need to do that for your daughter. For me. She needs you. I need you." Sam whispered, looking into Dean's tear filled eyes.

"This shouldn't happen! I wish she would have never even existed!" Dean spat out. "Then Cas would be here with me! That thing killed Cas! I have nothing to do with it!" Dean swiped the lamp off the table, watching as it broke into millions of little pieces.

Dean heard the distant sound of the baby crying in the other room.

"Dean! Don't say that! She is a miracle given to you!" Sam was in shock.

"Oh a miracle you say? Than what will this "miracle" will do when I blow her brains out?!" Dean took out his gun and started rushing to where the baby was. Sam screaming after him and running to the baby.

When Dean opened the rooms door, his gun pointed forward he opened his mouth in shock and felt Sam slam into his back at a running pace, causing him to stumble forward.

The room was completely empty.

"But..But she was here." Sam stuttered out, looking all around.

"What the fuck?" Dean muttered out in shock and sadness. Briefly having hope that this was all just a dream, a very bad dream.

Both of there eyes snapped to the door when a small noise was heard where they left Cas' body.

Dean ran back with Sam at his back and stopped in his tracks at the sight, his eyes wide and his mouth open.

The baby was lying close to Cas' chest.

Her eyes were close.

Her skin looked so pink against Cas' pale white skin.

Dean broke into sobs and kneeled down next to them.

He hugged both of them like his life depended on it. Letting his tears run free.

"I'm so so sorry... I shouldn't say these mean things about you... Cas did everything to protect you... I should do the same." Dean took the baby into his arms for the first time.

The little girl opened her wide eyes at him.

Her eyes were shining bright with green streaks swimming into blue.

Dean lost his breath looking into her beautiful eyes.

The baby girl looked deep in his eyes.

The pain started to dim.

Dean felt a complete love against this perfect little girl.

"So beautiful." Dean whispered.

Her eyes shined with happiness.

Dean laid down and placed a soft kiss to the little ones forehead.

"Your daddy was amazing, angel. But I think you already know it. I wish I could turn back time and live these three months together with you two. Maybe then he would still be alive." Dean couldn't look away from these beautiful shining eyes even as his voice broke.

He didn't know how long he laid dawn against Cas, holding their baby girl between them looking into her eyes.

Sam's voice snapped him back to reality and out of his daze towards his and Cas' daughter.

"Dean, will you feed her?" Sam held a baby bottle out for Dean.

"Let's feed you my beauty." Dean took the bottle and gave it carefully to his baby girl.

She started to eat in slow motion and closed her eyes.

Dean watched his daughter eat.

"After she will fall asleep." Dean said to Sam and his little brother didn't need to ask what he was talking about.

Sam nodded and went to prepare everything.

The baby drank all the bottle and fell asleep between Dean and Cas.

Hot and cold.

Dean carefully got up and put the baby girl in his bed.

He went back to Cas.

He slowly took him into his strong arms and went outside.

He tried to stay strong, refusing to let anymore tears fall.

He opened his lighter and looked into the small flames.

One hot tear ran down his cheek.

He put the lighter against wood.

Flames licked their way up, leaving black marks.

Flames started to engorge around Cas' body.

Dean felt his heart break more and more.

The handprint on his shoulder started to burn.

Dean put his hand against it and let the tears stream down his cheeks.

He closed his eyes only for a second when he felt weight being put into his arms.

He looked down to see the baby lying in his arms, looking on Cas' burning body.

Deans put the baby against his chest, forcing her eyes away from her dead father.

"This isn't the best way to creat memories." Dean shook his head, putting his cheek against her head.

His daughter let out a soft cry. Tears going to her green and blue eyes.

"Shh...I will take care of you." Dean whispered to her. "I'll never leave you. I'll always protect you..I promise, honey."

Dean stayed out until all was burned down to ashes.

He held his baby close to his chest.

"We need to take long shower. Shower for me and bath for you." Dean went inside.

His baby gripped a hand full of his hair.

"It's okay baby, you can let go of my hair." A small smile crossed Dean's lip.

"Give her to me and go take a shower. You need it." Sam streched out his arms with a small smile but Dean saw the pain and the tears in his brother's eyes.

Dean put the baby in his arms and kissed her forehead.

"I will be back baby. And then we will go to sleep." Dean said in a tired voice and went to shower.

The hot water washed away his numb, dirty feeling skin.

"I will stay strong for our daughter... I will try to be strong for her..." Dean let out a long, labored breath.

His shower was brief, he got out and got dressed in a rush. Brushing his teeth before making his way to Sam and his daughter.

Sam was changing her into new clothes.

Warm light green made her eyes shine even more.

Dean took her into his arms and hugged her little body.

He closed his eyes, enjoying her body heat.

Dean open his eyes when his stomach suddenly growled, it remind to him that he hadn't eaten in the last days.

"Dad feels hungry. Will you let me eat before we go sleep?" Dean looked down at her.

Her eyes met with Dea'ns and he was lost.

He didn't broke eye contact all the time while he ate.

He laid her down on his bed, holding his baby close to his chest.

His little girl yawned, making Dean yawn.

They closed there eyes together.

Sleep was right there to take over them.

"Dean, baby." Castiel's soft voice whispered in Dean's ear.

Dean opened his eyes and saw Cas standing in front of him.

"Cas!" Dean sat up, alarmed.

He immediately hugged him tight to his chest and kissed him deeply.

Cas let out a soft laugh.

"Calm down tiger, I need to tell you some important things." Cas held Dean in his arms, smiling softly.

"One more kiss. I miss you so much." Dean kissed Cas one more time.

"Listen to me, Dean." Cas said seriously, looking into his eyes.

"I'm listening." Dean said.

"Her name is Charlie. I named her Charlie in the moment I first saw her. She is really powerfull. She will help you. But you need to take care of her. Please don't let her down." Cas demanded, his face strict and serious."

"I will Cas. God believe me, I will." Dean nodded and then looked sad. "Can't you stay? Come home to us."

"I can't, Dean. It was my time to go. I raplaced my life with a new living girl. Let her live. Love her. Take care of her. Teach her how to be a good human." Cas placed a soft kiss against his forehead.

I closed my eyes, feeling tears breaking their way out of my closed eyelids.

Dean's eyes snapped open and suddenly he was back in his cold room. He sat up, his eyes searching the bedroom desperetly but found Cas nowhere to be seen.

He felt hot tears running down his ice cold cheeks.

A soft crying brought him back to reality and made him understand that it was only dream.

Just a dream.

He looked over his shoulder to see his crying angel.

"No, no, no. Please don't cry." Dean took the baby into his arms, rocking her back and forth.

She stopped crying and looked into Dean's eyes.

Seeing his daughter's eyes wet with tears caused a sob to rip through his body.

"I will take good care of you my beautiful Charlie." Dean declared well he kissed her forehead.

"Cas... It's been three months. Three months without you. It's hard you know. Our daughter is beautiful. She doesn't cry much. But when she does it breaks my heart. I don't know what is happening to me. One moment I feel broken but in the next I feel no pain. Charlie has beautiful eyes.

I haven't seen you in any dream sense that night.

Sam is worried.

But he is happy that I don't drink and am taking care of Charlie.

It's really hard to be strong.

I miss you so much.

Every night I look at the stars, wishing you would come back.

You said that Charlie is powerful,well all I have to say about being powerful is that she can cry so loud that I'm pretty sure Hell can hear it. And that she drinks her bottle like her life depended on it.

She seems like a normal human to me.

But she will never be just a human.

Because her father is... Was an Angel of the lord.

I miss you Cas...

I pray to you every night.

I love you my Angel.

I will never forget you."

I whispered out these words before closing my eyes, letting sleep take over me.

I felt little hands gripping my finger and bringing it to a warm little mouth.

"Just don't bite 'em off." I laughed and let my little girl suck my finger for better sleep.

Charlie's cries woke me up.

"What is it this time?" I rolled over to face her with a fond, tired smile.

Angelic eyes met my tired ones.

Her eyes looked so sad.

"No, no, no. Don't look at me with that sad look." I took her into my arms.

She cried out once more.

It sounded like she was.. in pain.

And she was so hot. Burning hot.

"Sammy!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. "SAM!"

"Everything' gonna be alright." I got out of bed and wrapped her in a small fluffy white blanket.

She stopped crying for a moment but then started again with more force.

Sam, his hair messy and his eyes wide open rushed into the room, a worried look on his face.

"She's burning hot! And she's in pain! I need to get her to hospital!" I was close to panic.

"Let me see her." Sam tried to take her her but I hit his arms away in protective mode.

"Calm down, Dean. You know I would never hurt her-"

"I don't want to let her out of my hands. You drive." I ran to the Impala.

"Everything is gonna be alright. Daddy will take care of you." I kissed her teary cheeks.

Sam started to drive and music started playing.

Charlie stopped crying.

Sam leaned forward to shut if off but I stopped her.

"Leave it. It calms her down." I rocked her softly in my arms and sand along softly to her.

She looked deep into my worried eyes, calming me down.

Her hands grip my finger tightly and brought it to her mouth. Her mouth was burning hot but I let her suck it.

"We're almost here. How is she?" Sam asked without taking his eyes off road.

"She's calming down and sucking my finger. Her mouth is burning hot Sam. I don't think it's good." I didn't take my eyes off of my little girl.

"Dean, we're here." Sam got out quickly, opening my door for me.

I rushed inside hospital.

"We need help! My daughter is burning hot and she's in pain. I can see it in her eyes." I said to the first doctor that I saw.

"Sir, calm down and follow me" He told me and led me to a small room.

"Put her on here please." The doctor said well she took out everything she needed.

"I don't think that's a good idea. Can't you do it all while I hold her?" I said and protectively held her to my chest.

She let out a soft pleased noise.

The Doctor saw the worry in my eyes and let me hold my baby girl.

After about an hour of hearing my baby cry out in pains, we were lying in some hospital bed, my baby connected to some systems.

I held her close to my ches,t watching her sleep.

"I wont let anything happen to you, Angel." I said and kissed her forehead.

I spent all night looking over her.

In the morning I finally let sleep take over me.

Sam's voice wake me up.

"I brought you coffee and breakfast." He gave me it all.

"Thanks Sammy." I drink almost half of the coffee with my first gulp.

"How is she?" Sam looked down at Charlie.

"Feelin' better. No more high temperature. And I hope no more pains. Doctor said it's because her teeth are coming out. And that it's normal but we should stay here for one more day just because she reacted worse then other kids at her age do when there teeth come in." I started to eat.

Again, I started feeling calmer.

"That's good, Dean. So good. She scared me last night." Sam sat down, lightly brushing Charlie's hand with a sigh of relief.

He saw my dead glare and took his hand off of her.

"Sorry." Sam muttered with a bit of hurt in his voice that made me feel guilt. "You are little too protective over her, Dean. She won't break if someone touches her."

I know..I'm just scared." I said honestly.

Soft baby sounds grasped my attention.

"My baby girl is waking up." I smiled and leaned in to kiss her head gently.

Charlie opened her eyes and they again, were shining as always.

She yawned and looked over at my burger.

I let out a laugh.

"No baby. Burger is for your daddy. The Doc brought you a bottle." I took out her bottle and fed her.

She looked bored but started drinking it.

"Am I going crazy or did she just give me the 'Oh crap, not milk again' look?" I asked Sam with a snort.

He laughed. "I think she has some sass in her."

"Oh how I love you my sweet little bumble bee." I kissed both of her cheeks, smiling. She giggled, spilling some milk.

"Let her eat in peace, Dean." Sam rolled his eyes but had a fond smile on his lips.

The Doctor knocked before walking in.

"Good morning! How are we feeling this morning?" She looked to Charlie. "She seems perfectly fine, like nothing happened. I think I'll let you guys go home. It will be better for her." The doctor smiled and I shot her a grateful look.

"You hear that? We're going back home." I singsonged to her. "We're going-"

She put her little hand over my mouth and smiled.

"I think that's her way of shutting you the hell up." Sam burst into a fit of manic laughter.

"Yeah she did." I laughed and slowly made our way out of the hospital and to the Impala.

I put her in the baby seat next to me.

"Sorry, Sammy. You need to stay in the back." I ignored his glare and started driving.

Charlie loved to drive fast.

We were home really soon and I put her too bed after her second yawn.

I sat down and started to write again.

I write every day too Cas.

"Castiel, last night was awful. I was scared. She was sick. But now everything is fine. We are back home.

She really loves to drive fast.

She always watches out the window at how fast the trees are passing by.

I love to just sit and watch her.

She is getting more beautiful with every day.

And with every day she is looking more and more like you.

It breaks me how much she already reminds me of her, but in a way I love her even more for it.

I started to think that her power is to take the pain away, to make people feel calm. Better.

Do you think she has wings?

But wait, I think she does 'cause in the second day she teleported back to you.

I bet her wings are just as beautiful as yours.

I remember how we first met.

You showed your beautiful wings so I would believe you when you told me you were an Angel.

I think you had the most beautiful wings of all the angels.

I miss you, Cas.

And I don't think that there will be day when I won't miss you.

You are just a big part of my life that can't be forgotten.

I wish you could see how beautiful she is.

Her eyes are like you and mine together."

Soft baby cries made me stop writing for a moment.

"Sorry Angel, I need to go. Our daughter is crying for me.

Charlie and I love and miss you Cas."

I ran to Charlie and took her into my arms.

"I miss Castiel." I froze in place, hearing a soft Castiel like voice inside my head.

I looked down to Charlie and she smiled.

She pulled my finger inside her mouth and closed her eyes, pleased with herself.

I smiled so big.

"My baby girl is talking to me." I whispered, grinning down proudly at her.


	4. Charlie, the Angel of humanity

**Charlie, the Angel of humanity**

Hello Daddy Cas.

Today I finally talked with Daddy D. I cried for him. I heard him pray for you. So I just whispered that I love you. And he heard it in his head just like you always heard me.

I was so happy.

And he let me to suck his finger.

It calmed me down.

I am five months old.

It is hard for him to take care of me.

I know I have wings, he think about it couple of times.

I just don't know if it is the right moment to show them to him.

They are so little.

But I like them.

And he actually knows that I have wings, because on second day I flew to you when he came after me with that gun.

He is asleep now. He always stays up until he is sure I am sleeping.

He is so caring.

I love looking into his eyes.

I understand why you loved him so much.

It is close to morning now.

I am awake and watching him sleep.

I don't wanna wake him up because he sleeps so little.

I am worried about him.

But I like to calm him down.

It is little funny to watch how fast he relax.

And he didn't even realise that I made him do it.

Oops. I just woke him up.

I love you Daddy Cas.

Hello Daddy Cas.

Today I started to crawl. Daddy D was so proud. He called Uncle Sam to come and watch me.

I love making them happy.

Daddy D laughed.

Oh how beautiful is his laughter.

Now I am watching him making healthy food for me.

He wants me to grow healthy and strong.

Actually his burgers and sandwitches look delicious. But he never allows me to taste them.

He sings while he cooks my food.

And he always try to make me laugh with doing weird things.

Now he is singing and playing animal princess.

He looks so funny.

I love this side of him.

And the way his eyes light up hearing my giggles.

It is worth laughing.

And delicious vegetables come.

Daddy D love to feed me.

And I always give him big smiles as thank you's.

Daddy I just took my first step! Daddy D is crying now. I don't understand if he is crying from happiness or sadness.

He is happy that I took my first step but sad that you don't see it.

It makes me sad.

I hugged him tight.

I don't want him to be sad.

He misses you so much.

There was so much times when I woke up in the night and he just sit on the floor, clenching your trench coat and crying from how much he misses you.

It hurts me to see him this broken.

Will I be able to fix him, Daddy?

I woke up hearing Daddy D crying.

He is sitting on the floor with your trench coat. His heart is so broken.

He cries but it doesn't make him feel any better.

He is angry at himself for letting you down.

Daddy D put your coat carefully back in drawer and stood up. He turns around and met my eyes.

"Oh sweetcheek, I didn't want to wake you." He puts me in his lap, trying to smile.

"Are you hungry? Did you want anything?" He asks me in a tired and sad voice.

I shake my head no.

I just hug him tightly.

"I miss him too Daddy." I whisper inside of his head.

I hear him let out a broken sound.

"I know baby, I know." His voice broke.

I start to cry together with him.

Daddy Cas, why does it hurt so much?

Why can't it just stop?

I want you back.

For Daddy D.

Please, come back...

Today is a special day.

Daddy D made a cake.

Today is my one year birthday.

But it is one year since you died.

Daddy D is trying to be happy today for me.

But his sadness didn't disappear, it just saved itself for later when he would think I couldn't see it in his eyes.

Daddy D and Uncle Sammy is singing me a song.

I clap when they are done and blow the candle in the cake.

Daddy D took me in his lap.

He is so proud. He kisses my forehead.

That was good birthday.

Daddy D didn't cry and was happy without my powers.

I am proud of him.

I wish you would be here to see how perfect this birthday was.

I love you Daddy.

Today is Daddy D birthday. He said he don't celebrate them.

But i have little gift for him.

I hope he will like it.

I led Daddy D to our room and shut the doors.

He sits down on the bed and I stand in front of him.

Daddy D was smiling.

And I smile back.

I open my wings.

They have grown much larger than when I first used them.

He is looking at me in shock and admiration.

"Happy birthday daddy." I whispered into his head.

I speak only in his head. I don't like speaking using my mouth. So I talk only with Daddy.

Today Daddy D screamed at me. This is only the second time when he does it. First was on the second day after you died.

Today he is really angry at me. He keep yelling at me.

It hurt me that he is so mad at me.

I don't understand why he is so mad...

He keeps screaming and I can't..

I let tears stream down my face before disappearing in front of his angry eyes.

Nothing far. Just outside bunker where we burned you.

I sit there shaking and crying.

I heard Daddy D's worried voice calling me. Searching for me.

Why did he yell at me?

I don't understand Daddy.

I look up at sky, searching for answer.

Did I do something wrong?

What did I do wrong?

I let cold air bite me and shake me.

It is winter outside. Cold.

I heard Daddy D's voice from behind me yell out "Thank God!" Before lifting me into his arms.

I let him.

I feel so tried.

"I'm so so sorry baby, I was stupid about screaming at you. Please never do that again. You scare me to death." He was crying as he brought me inside.

I hug him and let his love warm me up.

Daddy! I need your help! Daddy D is sick. He is really sick. He can't even get out of bed. He sleep most of the time, his dreams full of nightmares. I try to fight them off to make him feel better. It did work at first but now everything is getting only worse.

I can't take his pain away anymore.

Daddy, please, please save Daddy D.

I don't wanna lose him too.

I have already lost you.

Please save him!

Daddy, please...

Please, please ,please!

Daddy... I don't have much strength left.

I give all of it to Daddy D. I tried to heal him. I don't understand why this all don't work?

He is getting worse with every day.

He murmurs your name in his nightmare filled sleep.

I think he wants to go to you...

Should I let him?

Will you take care of him if I let him go...?

Daddy...I don't know what to do...

I think my tears could made a ocean.

Daddy is worse. He keeps murmuring your name over and over.

I am so weak.

I have tried everything.

I feel that the end is close.

I can feel it.

And Daddy D don't have any strength to fight.

I let my tears run down my cheeks as I hug him with my wings.

"I let you be free...Daddy Cas will take care of you...He is waiting for you..." I whisper into his head.

I hold him in my arms and wings until his body turn ice cold.

There aren't enough tears for me to cry.

I am broken.

Only thing I can think is that Daddy D is now with you.

I let you two to be free...

I love you Daddy Cas and Daddy D.

I will always love you.

Your Charlie.


End file.
